


One Fussy Potato

by slightly_murderous_sorcerer (emerald_witch_esmeralda)



Category: Versailles (TV 2015)
Genre: Alexandre’s Adventures in Babysitting, Baby Louis, Gen, all babies look like potatoes, baby Alexandre, cute potatoes but still, cute shit, king and valet bonding, tired young boy meets fussy future king of France
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-08
Updated: 2019-10-08
Packaged: 2020-11-27 12:41:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20948501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emerald_witch_esmeralda/pseuds/slightly_murderous_sorcerer
Summary: Little Alexandre Bontemps meets the new Dauphin, and he’s just as unremarkable and annoying as any other baby...but somehow still the most special.





	One Fussy Potato

He was twelve years old when his father came back from the palace, announcing that a new Dauphin had been born. And after such a long time, too.  
“His name is Louis Dieudonné, he’ll be your king one day.”  
“What’s the baby like, Papa?”  
“He’s an adorable child, with golden hair like his mother. We will go see him together.”  
When they arrived at Versailles, Jean-Baptiste embraced the king and Queen Anne gave the young man a handful of sweets from her candy dish before taking him to see baby Louis. Young Alexandre peered into the cradle and was less than impressed at the infant swaddled in purple velvet, although he did have adorable eyes. “He can’t even talk! And he’ll be my boss?!”  
“Son, you shouldn’t talk of the Dauphin in such a way!”  
“Well it’s true, and it’s not like he can understand me anyway...ouch!” Little Louis had grabbed the older boy’s dangling red curls and yanked as hard as his tiny baby fists could manage. Alexandre had to wrestle it away from him with much difficulty. “Why you little...!” His young face flooded with scarlet, until he heard the wailing. Goodness, for something so small it sure made a lot of noise! “Will you please stop crying?!”  
“Little Dauphin, it’s alright.” Alexandre watched in shock as Jean-Baptiste lifted the baby out of his cradle and began to gently rock him, and eventually the wailing quieted until it stopped completely.  
“Papa?”  
“This put you to sleep every time when you were a baby. Glad to see it still works.”  
“Why didn’t you go get his nurse? Or let him cry himself out, isn’t that what babies do?”  
“Then I’d have to leave him alone. And nobody should ever cry alone, son. Remember that.” He handed Alexandre the child. “Would you like to hold him?”  
“Me?!”  
“Don’t worry, you won’t drop him.” Alexandre looked confused for a second, but held out his arms as Jean-Baptiste put little Louis into them. Surprisingly he didn’t continue to cry. “Be sure to support his head, son. Isn’t he beautiful?” Big blue eyes were staring up at the older boy, and when Alexandre looked down at him he flashed a two-toothed grin. “I forgot he was born with teeth, his poor wet nurse.” Louis laughed. “Yeah I’m talking about you, you little potato baby.”  
“Potato baby?” Jean-Baptiste said in amusement.  
“I dunno, Papa. All babies look like potatoes to me.”  


  
Alexandre was in his nightshirt, face pale and eyes barely open with a scowl on his round face. His curls were a bird’s nest around his face as he turned toward the open door, an ungodly wailing having woken him up. “Where the heck are the ladies...isn’t somebody gonna do something?!” Did the grown-ups not hear anything?! He squeaked when his bare feet touched the cold tile of the floor, grabbing his robe and pulling it around his shoulders. The Dauphin had been crying for what he thought was very well an hour, why wasn’t his nurse looking after him?! As the king’s valet, his father slept in the king’s room and that meant Alexandre slept near the nursery, unfortunately. The young boy blinked his blue eyes and peered out of his bedroom door, seeing a lady and a gentleman’s silhouettes in the dim lighting. He crept closer, his candlelight falling on lavender silk. “Hey, that’s the nurse! What’s she doing?!” He heard her giggling as the gentleman whispered to her, before pulling her close to him. “Hey!” Alexandre shouted, and instead of slinking back east, the lady gasped and hurriedly ran off with her male friend in tow. “What?! How could she just leave him there?!” Suddenly the crying got louder, and he tugged at his hair in frustration. “My God...I’m gonna go!” He sighed and padded toward the nursery door, which was open and unlocked. “You’re letting a draft in, no wonder he’s crying. He’s probably cold!” Alexandre yawned behind his hand, walking toward the Dauphin’s cradle...Louis’ face was red from the exertion from crying, he was clearly upset.  
“Okay, I’m going to need you to stop crying, potato baby. I have school tomorrow, I need to sleep and you’re keeping me up!” He hissed, but that did nothing to calm him. “Ugh....STOP IT!” Alexandre wailed. _Crap! Is he hungry, is he tired, what is wrong with him?! I dunno what to do with babies! The nurse will be no help, it’ll take too long for me to get anybody...what am I gonna do?! My ears are bleeding!_ Peering at the crying child, Louis finally opened his eyes and the crying slowed by the tiniest bit. He lifted his arms toward the other boy, and Alexandre looked surprised. “You want me to pick you up? Well okay...I guess.” He didn’t need to stand on his tiptoes since he’d always been tall for his age and picked up the baby, hearing a voice that sounded strangely like his father telling him to support his head. That seemed to work a bit, so he bounced him like he saw his father do. To Alexandre’s shock, the crying got lower until it stopped altogether, turning into the occasional sniffle. “Did your lungs finally get tired? Jesus, I hope so. Why are babies so darn loud, I don’t get it?” The nurse’s bed was left unoccupied, and Alexandre’s weary body directed him toward the soft surface with babe still in arms. “Now, I can sleep...I’m so tired.” He actually smiled a little when Louis babbled softly, his own eyes shut. “I have lessons, you’ll get those when you get big. And I need sleep to do those lessons.” Louis lifted a tiny hand to Alexandre’s face, patting his cheek before making a yawning noise. “Goodnight, little potato. If you wake me up again, I swear I’m throwing you.”  
Laying on his back with a heavy yawn, his eyes fluttered closed. Surprisingly, not another peep was heard from either of them the whole night. 

  


  
Anne was frantic the next morning when she went into the nursery and saw no sign of either her son or his nurse, the empty cradle was a most unwelcome sight indeed. “Louis?!” The queen cast her eyes about the room, seeing a lump in the corner-bed. “You! Where is my so...” she was cut off when she peered down and saw who the occupants were, and the queen took a seat in a nearby armchair with a soft smile on her face.  
Jean-Baptiste was on high alert when he didn’t see his son in his bed, and he immediately went in search of him...he was never late for breakfast. “My lady!” The king’s valet made purposeful strides to the nursery door when he saw the queen there, but she held a finger to her lips and shushed him. “You’ll wake them!”  
“Alexandre is...”  
“Fine. He’s fine. Come see, Jean.” Jean toward the bed and saw young Alexandre sleeping quietly, Louis lying on his chest. “The boys are alright.” The queen reached over and shook Alexandre awake. “What are you doing here, Alexandre?”  
“Majesty? Please don’t make me get up, I’m so tired.” He whined.  
“No worry, I’m just wondering what _this _ is.”  
“Huh?” He looked down and remembered the sleeping baby. “Oh. He was crying. He was crying for an hour and _nobody_ would do anything, and I needed to sleep. So I went to go check on him.” He lifted his free hand to his face to stifle his yawn. “Turns out, all he wanted was to be picked up.”  
“What do you mean “nobody would do anything?!” Where was Charlotte?!”  
“I would check the Marquis de Lafayette’s rooms, ma’am.”  
Anne muttered something in Spanish under her breath...Alexandre couldn’t understand it, but whatever it was he was sure it wasn’t good. “Thank you, Petit-Monsieur Bontemps.”  
“No problem, even babies that look like potatoes shouldn’t have to cry alone.” That statement brought a smile to Jean-Baptiste’s face, and he ruffled his son’s hair. “Now, can I finish sleeping? Please?”  
“Of course you can. I’ll tell your tutor to push back your lessons...you’ve earned it.”  
“Thanks Papa, you’re the best.” Alexandre drifted off again, and the little dauphin didn’t stir. Well that is until they tried to pull him away from the older boy, he clung to Alexandre’s shirt for dear life and whimpered until they just decided to leave him there.  
This brought a great laugh to the gathered adults five months later when they tried to do the same thing...Louis clung to Alexandre and stubbornly refused to let go. It was the same as many other days, but this time the little future king had said his first word: “Mine!”


End file.
